I have been working on this piece, which I have titled "rabbit", for a few weeks now and am finding more and more about it that I like. The further I go, the more I learn about how I paint and how that mirrors the way that I view life. This painting began with a simple idea, 'paint a figure in a dynamic pose' was all that I had given myself to work with. The first step for me, was to comb through some old magazines that I had laying around, to find a figure that seemed like a good reference. My search was not particularly fruitful, or so it seemed to me on that night. What I did find was a photo of a young man, standing in a most 'non-dynamic' pose. Yet, there was something about this figure that appealed to me and so I began sketching.
When I began applying the first layer of paint, my approach was rather haphazard. I started throwing a heavy, chaotic swirl of pinkish paint onto the surface of the panel, careful not to obscure any of the sketch that I had done. When I was finished with that, I was not convinced that I was happy with what I had done, or where I might be able to go from there. So went the next several night's work, another whirling, swirling blend of color and texture, followed by another and another.
This continued for some time, until I picked up a tube of water soluable oil paint and shifted my focus to the figure. Again, I spent several nights working at building out the texture and overall dynamic of the figure, never quite getting to the point where I was really satisfied with where the piece was going. Nevertheless, I kept at it, night after night, trying to get to the 'Eureka" moment. It didn't come.
So again I switched gears and began another new approach, this time reworking the surface's visual texture rather than it's physical texture. I want to create a dynamic within the piece that is counterintuitive to what the superficial face of the paint would seem to imply. In other words, the underlying textures that I created with the heavy applications of paint, are not in any way related to the purely visual textures of the layers that I am building on top of them. In fact, they are in direct opposition to the weight and depth of the paint they they are on top of.
What I am realizing as a result of this way of painting, (which I have kind of realized previously, but am growing more certain of, the further I go), is that there is a great deal happening in my work, that may not be apparent at first glance. The depth, the truth in my work is under the surface. It has to be found, hidden away beneath layer upon layer of nondescript, implied meaning.
Sure, you can stand across the room and see what I have done and get the superficial 'face' of it, but to truly understand what painting, and indeed life, means to me, you have to get up close and study it. You must try to deconstruct the finished piece, breaking it down to it's component parts and then try to reconstruct it. However, if you are successful at deconstructing the process, no matter how hard you try to see it as you had, the superficial face of it will never be quite the same again.
I think there is something in the nuances, in the most subtle, quiet places that define everything else. They are the forgotten, ignored, unappreciated parts of life that we all take for granted. Yet, if we take the time to see them, to really look beyond what is easy and obvious, we begin to see the real depth of the world around us, as well as the depth within us. This is what painting is about to me, at least for the time being. I look forward to going where ever else the nuances take me in the future.