james-luscombe.com

twice in the same day

The thing that I love about this "Got ____" project is the way that it just keeps on doing the work for me! I was in Virginia today, visiting friends, when what should happen to rear it ugly head? You guessed it... another "Got ____?" rip-off... and then another! Imagine my dismay, that I should encounter two of these things on the same outing! One I understand, at least in the sense that it's a campaign slogan for a political figure currently running for President. The other, well, I have no idea what it means or why there were so many of them littering the median along the highway, but there they were. I will spare you all the random, rambling tirade that I spewed inside my head when I saw these. Instead, I will let the images below speak for themselves.
 
 

honest to God... enough already!

Okay, I'm just gonna say this one more time... Get some new material... Please! I know that I have ranted about this before, but there I was yesterday, driving along, when I come around a corner and end up behind another bus with another variation on this tired, old slogan. C'mon people! Can't you do any better than this? Seriously, 1993 is over!  Humanity has evolved since then, (some more than others), but evolve we have. This obsession with the whole, 'Got _____' thing is bordering on absurd. No wait, it's actually beyond that point and is now fully into the realm of pathetic.

Not just that, but trying to sell safe sex with an old milk slogan... what are these people thinking? Surely these ads are not helping anyone, save those who are still selling this stupid slogan. I want to meet anyone, (just one person), who has pulled up behind one of these billboards and thought, 'Yeah, come to think of it I should be practicing responsible, safe sex. Thank you bus mounted billboard'. If just one person that this has actually reached would let me know that they owe their healthy lifestyle to this campaign, I will never bitch about it again. (I will think that they're completely out of their mind, but I won't bitch about it).

I am so frizzed off by this stupid thing that I have decided to create a new category dedicated to just these milk slogan rip-offs, and I am calling it "Got _____". I want to see how many different ways people can 'milk' this thing. I want to plumb the depths of human stupidity and document it, right here on my little piece of the interwebs. This is now officially my pet project, to photograph every ridiculous variation that crosses my path and post it along with my personal outrage over this trend. Surely there are others out there who have witnessed this same phenomena and are just as ready to take it out back and bury it.

To those who are perpetuating the bastardization of this most simple of slogans, knock it off! The only people interested in your bumper stickers, billboards, tee-shirts and whatever the hell else your printing on are you and those who are like you, completely uninspired, unintelligent plagiarists who couldn't think their way out of a wet paper bag! The rest of us are bored with you.

bad taste in my mouth

Throughout human existence there have been many "Ages" that have marked significant evolutionary milestones. From the "Stone Age" to the "Bronze Age", the "Space Age" to the "Internet Age", each has elevated humanity to new, higher levels of being, until now. It appears that we have entered a new, (and utterly absurd), "Age". Since it has not yet been named, I will refer to it as the "Flavor Age". The earmarks of this new era are apparent in virtually every kind of food that mankind consumes today. From bubble gum to potato chips, ice cream to fish, (ie. imitation shellfish), it seems that everything we eat needs to taste like something else. Why?

Mankind has survived for millenia eating potatoes that tasted like... well, potatoes. Fish have always been fish flavored, that is how nature made them and through out the history of human evolution, that was good enough. When did we reach the point where we found it necessary, or desirable to disguise our food and beverages as something else? What are the benefits and/or implications of such a trend?

I have tried to ignore this cultural fascination with artificial flavoring for a very long time and for the most part have done a fairly good job of it. (However, I must admit that even I am a fan of sour cream and onion flavored potato chips). But I must draw the line at passion fruit flavored vodka! Honestly, it's vodka! We're talking about an alcoholic beverage born of potatoes, originally distilled in Eastern Europe nearly two centuries ago. When did it become necessary to add tropical fruit flavoring to this beloved beverage? Don't get me wrong, I like a nice, fruity cocktail as much as the next guy. But when did it become too much to just mix some juice with our vodka?

Perhaps we have just reached a point in our evolution where such trivial matters are best dealt with through the science of flavoids. Perhaps we are simply freeing ourselves from the drudgery of thousands of years of accepting the way that things are and preparing for the way things are going to be. Who knows, maybe there is some hidden genius to our flavor altering ways. Perhaps we are on the cusp of a new renaissance, even the birth of a new art form, I don't know. What I do know is that the forty foot advertisement for white grape and passion fruit flavored vodka that I have to drive past every day has filled me with "Flavo-Rage" and is leaving a very bad taste in my mouth.

 

get some new material... please!

So I'm driving along the other day and end up behind this bus, waiting for it to make the turn and this is what I had to look at while waiting. Is it just me or has the "got ______?" campaign run its course? Sure, it was a great idea when it originally appeared on the scene to promote milk, but enough is enough. Practically everyday I see some other variation of this idea, from "got God? to "got life?" to now this, "got syphilis?". Seriously, are we that desperate for a new idea that this is all that's left? Surely we have not gone through all that humanity has to offer in the way of ideas. There has to be a better way to make a point or sell an idea than to rip off old marketing campaigns from over a decade ago. Honestly, think about it, "got syphilis?" It begs the question, are there really that many walking around among us with syphilis, that we need to run an ad campaign? And if so, is ripping off an old milk slogan and slapping it on the side of a bus really the best way to address the problem? I would like to think that we can do better, but I am beginning to doubt my optimism.

Breaking News

In a press conference held earlier today, scientists announced that they have successfully blended the DNA of a blue spruce tree with aircraft grade aluminum, creating and new "bio-alloy". The project, named the "Spru-luminum Project" was a joint venture between the U.S. Forest Service, Boeing and The Buckwheat Corporation, a subsidiary of AT&T.

"We are thrilled with the result", said Boeing spokesman, Paul Bunyan. "This breakthrough now allows us to grow trees that can be multi-purposed, from beautiful, shade producing members of the forest community to cell towers to bullet-proof hiding places and beyond"!

AT&T spokesman, Albert Albert added, " We will be launching a new "green" initiative, geared toward protecting the environment and spreading these wonderful trees across the nation". The plan will focus on distributing "Spru-luminum" saplings to elementary schools from coast to coast, in time for Arbor Day. Each sapling will come with it's own certificate of authenticity, planting and care instructions and a 200 foot measuring tape. "We don't want these youngsters to plant the saplings too close to their houses", Bunyan explained, "given the conductive nature of the alloy and the considerable weight of a mature tree".

Saplings will not be distributed to areas that are likely to experience severe lightning, high winds or mudslides.

winding down

Today has been haggering at best and I am glad to see it go. I spent a  bit of time working on the chess piece, roughing out the base and  baking it for stability's sake. From here will come a bit of sanding,  carving and further roughing. It feels good to revisit this piece  after such a long hiatus. I am looking forward to getting to the  molding and casting stage to see how closely I can match my vision of  the final piece and what unforseen oddities will occur during the  process.

no appointment, but still waiting

I am sitting in the waiting room at my doctor's office, waiting to go  into the appointment that I didn't have. I love it when I arrive at at  an appointment and am told, "I don't have any record of it Mr.  Luscombe". In part because I like it when people call me "Mr.  Luscombe", (it makes me feel like the gray on my chin truly does give  me that "distinguished" air). Also, it reminds me that there are still  small pockets of common courtesy, even if they are the byproduct of  professional protocol. Whatever the cause, I like it! As for hanging  out in Doctor's office waiting rooms... that I could live without. In  fact, I am thinking that someone should open a drive-thru Doctor's  office and call it, "Health in a Hurry", or something snappy like that.

here we go again...

As I stand here writing this post, I wonder if it will ever find it's  way into the blogoshpere. You see, my beloved little phone has  decided, once again, that it wants to foil my every effort. I am  unsure of why this is. I find moments each day that I feel are worthy  of posting, be they thoughts, gripes or observations best explained  with a photo and I ask my little friend to do it's part.  Unfortunately, it seems that my little friend has again seen fit to  deny my request. So it is in the interest of getting this posted that  I say to my phone, "pretty please, work this time".

another rainy monday

Today has been as cold and gray as a day can be and I would really  like it to end soon. Ordinarily I like the rain, or perhaps more  accurately, I am not bothered by it. Today however, I am quite over  it. I need some new light, some new perspective. I need to find a way  to rise above it all, or work around it, or just get away from it all.  I need some new air to breathe and a quiet place to breathe it. Maybe  tomorrow will bring something new, or maybe tomorrow will be another  rainy Monday too.

I am so sick of technical difficulties...

Today is my first day back in the office, which is it's own kind of  issue. So after about three hours of catching up on backlogged emails  and getting up to speed on all of the other various goings on during  my absence, I decided to do something for myself. I grabbed a sandwich  and a cold drink and made my way over to Thomas Circle to eat my lunch  and shoot an hour of life at the roundabout. My sandwich was tasty and  my soda refreshing. The sun is throwing some serious heat this  afternoon. Anyway, I find the angle I want to shoot from, position  myself and my phone on the perfect perch on the steps of the National  City Christian Church and fire off a test frame to make sure all is as  it should be. Much to my bewilderment, my camera is on the fritz  again! I am having the exact same problem that I was having a week and  a half ago. Needless to say, I am not impressed! Having just finished  reformatting my PC and doing all of the requisite updates and  reinstalls that go along with that process, and feeling like things  were in good working order, this little snafu is really pissing me  off. Not only am I not able to spend my lunch break working on my  latest piece, when I get home tonight, I will have to start over from  square one, trying to debug my phone again. If I wasn't sitting on the  front porch of God's house right now, I would say something really  unsavory, but instead I will stop here.