As I stood, smoking the evening's proverbial under the sky, I had a strange moment of self-recognition. I watched a cloud formation passing overhead and in it's definition, in the contrasts between darks and lights, there passed a Madonna and Child . It was remarkably well crafted. One might say "divine". Whatever the case, there it was.
I watched it come and go, losing it's form to another thought, another breeze. I then realized that this iconography is etched into the fiber of my being. I mean right down to the molecular level, (seriously, depending on how you look at it, every thought is). Many times throughout my years I have found this iconography in things around me.
The last time that I was painting with any kind of commitment was the last time that I was painting, all those many years ago. It was this iconic tapestry, all of the deities and demigods of Christianity, that grew out of those paintings. And it was there that I abandoned the craft that I love so much. (More on that later).
(As an aside) I just realized the irony of my departure from and return to my love, painting. The last series of paintings that I did, were done on throw away foamcore panels from the screen printing shop. With my return to painting I have again chosen foamcore as my panel of choice. Again, from the throw-outs of the day job. (note: much better foamcore these days!)
It seems a fitting place to return. Where better than from where you left off. Happily, I believe that is precisely what has happened. The barriers of confined movement and application of paint have been thoroughly removed for me. Unfortunately it took the better part of twenty years for me to figure that out.
(As an aside) If it takes me twenty years to figure things out, think about what I'm missing right now, that I'll be nearly sixty by the time I figure it out. Crap!
Anyway, back to the cloud thing...
***( More to come, its late and I'm going to bed! )***
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***( Okay, I'm back! )***
Where was I? Oh, that's right, the cloud thing.
So there I was, alone in the backyard smoking the day's final lung dart, when I looked up and saw a Madonna and Child floating by. It was really quite amazing how clearly it was defined. (I know this probably sounds like the mad ramblings of a man about to go off the deep end, but I promise you it's not).
Given my aversion/fascination with religion in general and specifically Christianity, (ie. Catholicism), I suppose this kind of makes sense. Having been raised Catholic, I grew up with all of the stories of Jesus and the Apostles, all of the lessons of the Bible, etc, etc...
Despite having removed myself from that mindset as soon as I was old and able enough to do so, clearly has not removed the iconography from my psyche . As I mentioned, at many different points throughout my life I have seen various iconic images from the stories of the Bible, within other objects.
Perhaps this is also due in part, to all of the years of studying art and art history, as there was plenty of this sort of thing spread out across those teachings as well. Either way, I am still a bit dumbfounded by the clouds and the image that I saw in them. I would like to think that there is some higher meaning to all of it, that somewhere out there is a consciousness trying to tell me something that I haven't figured out yet. (Considering how long it takes me to figure some things out, I could certainly use a bit of help ;-)
